Dear Crackwhip,
When my old patient suddenly became a Christian, my uncle was furious. He, of course, noted that my well-deserved punishment was not long in coming. Now, as we face the same situation, you must remember that your culpability is noted. But this is not the end of eternity. Today we are afforded so many new tools to lessen your despair that we need to get to work instead of revelling in your past failures. He might be now in the Enemy camp for all the wrong reasons, so pulling him back from the brink of happiness and bliss is very much a proven concept.
The Church it itself is as much our ally is it was then. Now, this is a bit tricky. After the WWII, the Church was much clearer about who their enemy was. Then they better recognized their adversaries directly by their deeds. When money was stolen, many a thief was promptly identified, when a murder was committed, church goers had no trouble denouncing the act of evil. Fortunately, this difficult clarity didn’t last long. After tempting many patients to recall the glorious achievements of such epochs as enlightenment, many reacted positively. After all, with such advancements as atomic energy, semiconductors and evolutionary biology, the need for the old pillars drastically diminished. In fact, such almost crumbled to the point that no one knew what was up and what was down. This also included a many church member as many were easily deceived by the unbridled hippy love and apocalyptic military industrial complex alike.
For example, in 2008, some of our friends feasted on the gullible by pushing worthless mortgages fed to the Moloch of Wall Street, Recall, this is where they conspicuously worship the metal bull while telling the public that taking selfies by its testicles is just an act of faithless modernity. As it happens to some of our patients, many an astute mortgage trader pushed their earthly luck too far. Their own clever system near exploded. Massive liquidity injections on the taxpayer dime, already in the state of famine thanks to the charitable billionaires, saved their skins. But instead of putting behind the bars at least a few of them, they let them continue fleecing the poor. To achieve this end, we reminded some church leaders that defending what they called Capitalism was a very Christian thing to do. When some parishioners attempted to rebel, many a father was the first in line to condemn the insurrectionists. This was precious. During the Covid-19 emergency we continued in the same vein. While at the outset of the events, just about all churches, regardless of the reigning theologies and political views inside them, ceded the initiative to public health authorities and their “two weeks to flatten the curve” mantra. That was an entirely Christian thing to do, which pleased the Enemy. However, as many followers of the Enemy subscribe to the literal view of public declarations of all sorts, this united position began fracturing as soon as it dawned on the critically minded that “two weeks” was not really two weeks and that “deadly” virus wasn’t really deadly. Of course, the reason for the fracture were not those who were willing to deviate from the governmental position. They were willing to “live and let live”, generally avoiding to direct any criticism towards their more obedient brethren. The latter were really the ones to not just affirm the ridiculousness of the public health pantomime, but also direct sharp criticism towards the critically minded coreligionists. Of course, they misused some key versus in their detestable book, but this mattered little. The Enemy was grieved while we had a celebration in our headquarters. This was a repeat of so many other episodes in their history. Hence never underestimate of what can be done inside as well as outside the Church!
The same goes for his familial relationships. There is so much that could be accomplished in this fertile field. My uncle Screwtape advised me to exploit my patient’s relationship with his mother during those trying times. Then, such factors as mutual annoyance with his mother through a goodly doze of daily nitpicks was a fantastic strategy, which is really eternal. As long as humans cohabit with one another, this will remain the golden standard. In the age of Covid-19 we have managed to open new avenues in this effective and pleasurable undertaking. In the beginning of the Covid-19 emergency, the panic makers made sure to transmit the message that everyone, regardless of age, was at risk on the account of the deadly pathogen. Anybody could contract, suffocate, and die on the ventilator in no time to even say goodbye to the loved ones. However, in the realm of all possible pandemic risks, the personal risks were the least of one’s worries. The risk of major contagion, should one happen to be a so-called super-spreader, put a massive collective weight on the fragile shoulders of “soon to die” ordinary citizens.
The notion of super-spreader was itself an entirely hypothetical construct. In other words, the modern virology and epidemiology rested on the idea that every “outbreak” had to have a definitive point of departure. This was as sure as the nest sunrise, there had to be someone who was sick before every subsequent patient. There must be a source! Fortunately, our mainstream media friends usually glaze over the details of certain cases where there is absolutely no source that could have fit the presumed incubation period. Most remain uninformed of many a strange anomaly. For example, how is that possible that completely healthy and thoroughly tested astronauts, having spent a number of weeks in space, suddenly fall ill with influenza? Of how is that possible that a crew on the ship at sea for more than a month experiences an outbreak of a disease despite all crew turning a negative test before sailing? Why is not many wonder how a few lonely souls working at a completely isolated Antarctic station for months on end suddenly feel the dreadful symptoms of fever, cough and terror induced by SARS Cov2 positive tests?
While we will cover the great PCR test invention later, it is important to understand that there is no humanly (lol) possible way to determine if the disease befalling one individual is the result of another individual’s actions. This is all entirely circumstantial aka made up. However, given an inevitable shortage of the preceding versus the succeeding subjects involved in any outbreak, one inevitably super-spreaders. But one does not hear about this on the nightly news. This is a great tool for propagating, anywhere. In one’s household it is just as splendid as anywhere. Of course, at first, your patient thinks that he is acting in the best interest of the mother, while she does the same to him, there already is a foundation for the great annoyance, as each one naturally feels to be miffed at the suggestion that he or she should be the cause of another’s demise. At first this anger is directed against the alleged virus. As time passes, the inconveniences of social distancing, masking and frequent spraying of noxious chemicals on all surfaces begins to shift to the person under protection. As nobody among much less careful neighbours seem to be getting sick in masse, one begins to suspect the futility of it all. However, the fear of being accused to be a super spreader or just a spreader prevents any breakthroughs. Pressure builds. Neither the patient nor this mother dare to change the status quo, while suspecting that such is a sham.
Within a month or two since the beginning of the pandemic, it becomes obvious that people in the state of health and age as your patient generally refuse to die or even get seriously sick, while those of the advanced age seem to be dying in droves when under the care of the nursing home industry. The latter fact generally evades further scrutiny, while the age stratification begins to annoy your patient, as he realizes that his mother is not a risk to him, while he may be to her. She understands the same, feeling further alienation from him. While praying for her protection, he does start feeling a pinch of the mask behind his ears, the cold drafts from open windows, and her newly acquired aversion to making elaborate dinners, as she prefers to spend less and less time in the kitchen, they both share.
As my uncle noted, your work with your patient has to be well coordinated with your partner Rufus taking care of his mother. This is important to remind your patient that although his newly acquired religious convictions somehow inform him to be careful about the governmental advice related to the Covid-19 counter-measures, he is not to think too much about it as the last thing he wants to do is to “kill grandma” aka his own mother. Make sure that he continues to consider anyone of the older generation as “grandma” regardless of their health condition. This will lead him straight into the annoyance trap, which soon will include taking novel Covid-19 vaccines. In the meantime, enjoy the ride.
Your loving cousin,
Wormwood